I wish that I never had to feel like I had to prove myself to anyone. I know everyone must feel that way, but just imagine that some of your friends knew bad things that you had done, really terrible mistakes, and they judged you for those mistakes from that moment on.
If someone could see inside to everything that you have done that was wrong, what would people think of you? They would think the worst, but why then, do we not think the worst of ourselves? So I'm left with this feeling of defensiveness because I don't think I am a bad person. But I only know one other person who doesn't think that. The rest, well, I'm not so sure. And it makes me very very sad.
I think I've just uncovered the reason that we are not a telepathic race.
1 comment:
well, from what I've seen so far, you are NOT a bad person!! I will tell you that you never have to worry about me judging you. I try my hardest not to do that to my friends. Especially the good ones that I want to keep around because I wouldn't want to be judged either. The judging needs to be left to the big man upstairs because his judgement is really the one that matters the most. No one is perfect!! We all need to learn that and get over ourselves and quit thinking we are better than others. You shouldn't ever have to defend yourself...and if you are around someone that you feel like you need to defend yourself around then you have the choice to remove yourself from those people. I've decided (recently) that the ppl that judge me and don't treat me the way I treat them will be removed from my life. I'm not gonna be rude and never talk to them again...but I've decided that I'm not gonna care or get upset or really make any effort with those types of ppl. It's a waste of time. Especially if they're gonna do nothing but judge.
This world is a sociaty of ppl that love drama and they love to create drama and we can choose to not indulge in such weaknesses. It causes too much frustrations.
I totally feel your pain!! The relation is there!! Hopefully our friendship will continue to be an open one with trust and no judgement on either side. :)
~cj~
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